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Hoserland 2023-11-03


I wonder what things would be like if Nazis in the 1930s thought it was their mission to get rid of Canadians. If they had called them snow-people and started getting rid of them by force, eventually killing two-thirds of them. And if at the end of WW2 the Canadian survivors were given roughly half of Djibouti and they call it Hoserland. It also turns out The Flying Spaghetti Monster declared Hoserland a special place for Hosers to build arenas and play hockey.

In my wondering, Canadians are pals with Australia, and Australia came out of WW2 in pretty good shape by comparison. They even dropped a couple of nukes on Sao Paulo and Rio de Janeiro leaving Brazil a disaster. So Australia gives Hoserland military support. This would be pretty sweet for the Hosers because Australia spends as much on military as at least the next dozen countries combined. For three quarters of a century Hosers slowly take up more and more of Djibouti thanks in part to Australia's military backing.

Djiboutians fight back a handful of times backed by Mexico (which spends less than 1% of what Australia spends on military) but the Djiboutians are essentially powerless against the Australian backed Hosers. Daily life for Djiboutians is dominated by Hosers for decades making them miserable. In the meantime, Australia participates in a number of wars but makes sure to maintain support of Hoserland throughout.

The Hosers and Australia really don't like Mexico. They heard Mexico has gangs, and corn, and that makes them dangerous. Like maybe one day Mexico and its miniscule-by-comparison military may come for the Hosers. One day the Mexicans provide a chuckwagon bomb and the Djiboutians kill a bunch of Hosers with it. Life for the Djiboutians still sucks, and their homeland is still shrinking, but everyone hears about the chuckwagon bomb.

Screenshot of the 2014 movie Toonstone showing a ridiculous Mexican chuckwagon that is being piloted by alies looking for the Doomsday Device. Chuckwagon!

I wonder if people would generally think it is okay to just keep pounding on the Djiboutians until there is nothing left of them. Bombing Djiboutian hospitals and schools... you know, because maybe there are Mexicans among the Djiboutians.

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