The Ugly Children Of Sperm Donor T941 2021-10-13
Miele Schitzo's daughter is peeing in the middle of the kitchen, and her son is sleeping in the clothes dryer. She's lucky, usually they both go apeshit at the same time. You see, they are ugly children and that gives them the right to be a pain in the ass any time they like. Bad grades at school? It's 'cause they're ugly. Suck at sports? Blame the ugly. Too many fingers? Well, who's fault do you think that is? The problem is that Miele Schitzo figures she deserves beautiful children because she paid for them.
Schitzo's children were both IVF kids, and fathered by someone known as Mr. Saurus, or as he is known in the donor catalog "Sperm Donor T941". He's a truly handsome man by all accounts, but he is genetically inferior and is doomed to have ugly children regardless of how beautiful their mother is. In Schitzo's case, she is also ugly, so her children are the things other children have nightmares about. Schitzo tried to sue the donor clinic but it turns out they are really just a sketchy guy who sells American SIM cards on Kijiji. Her next gamble was to try to sell the children, but obviously it was not gonna happen with those looks eh! Finally, broken and depressed she decided to keep the children and simply put burlap sacks on their heads when they go out. The sack not only hides their ugly, it also makes them quiet like a bird when you put a blanket over its cage.
Now her daughter is chanting "Flappy seal!" over and over again "Flappy seal!".
Ugly, which affects an estimated 1 of 13 children in the United States, is a "spectrum disorder" often characterized by freakishly large ears and teeth that grow in what seems to be all directions. Some ugly people, such as actress Darryl Hannah, have dozens of facial reconstruction surgeries to have the ugly removed, though in many cases it starts to grow back and needs to be re-removed. Fortunately, celebrities usually have plenty of money to throw at ugly removal. Nobody is really sure why Tom Hanks didn't spend a lot more on ugly removal. Schitzo hopes her children will cope better as they grow older, but for now, she knows they are suffering. Mostly because children can be so brutally honest about how ugly other people are. She just hopes that making her story public will make other would-be parents think twice before they go buy some mayonaise and a turkey baster from a guy in van.