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My Walmart Day 2021-01-26

Today I picked up some groceries from Walmart... not bragging, just saying. In fact, I am ashamed to admit it. Anyways, some years ago I heard about Loblaws having online grocery shopping in nearby Toronto, but not here. I called them a number of times to ask why they refused to have online grocery shopping here. After sufficient bitching they finally brought online grocery shopping to my area, and I hopped on that bandwagon like a fat kid on a grocery order. Then one day Walmart started offering online groceries here too. They even had cheaper prices. Now I know that Walmart treats humans pretty poorly and animals even worse, but it isn't like Loblaws is guilt-free when it comes to the same crap. So, I went to pickup my groceries at the designated time slot, phoned, and said

Hi, it is Snork for grocery pickup in parking spot number 1.

The kid on the phone asked which parking spot I was in. Uhhhm, I'm gonna just assume it was a bad phone connection. Then I waited twenty two minutes for the food to be brought to my car. Don't get me wrong, I realize there are far bigger problems in this world, it is just another example of a small bruise in my abusive relationship with Walmart. The guy in the car next to me was just as irritated. When I got home I unpacked the groceries, noticed that they had screwed up my cheese order, and figured I'd have to call later about it. Eventually I sat down at my PC and noticed an email from Esource Parts, a company supposedly in Mississauga. This bothered me because I bought a battery for a cell phone from Esource Parts back in November and they have been spamming me through the Walmart third party seller portal ever since. You see, at some point Walmart looked at how much money Amazon was making and said "We want some of that money!". So they opened up to third party sellers, some of whom are not in Canada, and some of whom... and get this, are spammers. No shit eh?

I in fact have called Walmart a number of times over the last couple of months trying to get them to admit that it is totally inappropriate for third party sellers to spam Walmart customers through their third party seller portal, but the best I can get is some phone jockey who barely speaks English to tell me they are sorry for the inconvenience. Don't get me wrong, I think it is adorable that Walmart is employing folks in India. I just don't think they should be put on the phones until they can achieve a reasonable level of competence speaking the language they will primarily use when doing their job. Sadly, the supervisor guy I spoke with today was the least understandable of the bunch. Irritated, disappointed, and tired I went on to other things. A few hours later I got an email telling me that they didn't have any of the cheese I wanted and that it would not be included in my order. Uhhhm, I could have used that email more than six hours ago fellahs. Don't worry, tomorrow morning I am sure I'll get an email telling me that my grocery order was picked up.

notfursale Notfursale, notfursale...

The disappointing thing is that there really doesn't seem to be any organization that can provide an online shopping experience where I pay them "money" and they give me "food". How that became such a tough thing to provide, I have no idea. I don't need $15 delivery, and I don't need someone to record Family Guy for me when I am out. I just need to trade money for food. I don't need to have my spending habits monetized, and I don't need points for buying whatever crap you have on sale this week. I just need to trade money for food. Am I the only one who cares?

Just in case anyone is offended by the idea that I would call my relationship with Walmart "abusive", you're welcome to refer anyone in a real abusive relationship to me and I will offer my help. More help I bet than you would, so bite it. No, I am not joking, refer them to me.


Well, as it turns out, at 8:51pm I got an email from Floyd at Esource Parts saying

We were notified that you kept on receiving marketing emails from us. We apologize as those are actually system generated. On every email, there should be a link from that you can click on to stop receiving those emails. You can just click on those to get unsubscribed. Also, on our end if your email still shows up, we will manually remove it to unsubscribe.

Oh, I know they are automated messages, and I know that I can unsubscribe using your trackable link at the bottom of the emails. The problem is not that I do not understand how to unsubscribe, but rather that subscribing me without my permission is a dick move. Don't worry Esource Parts, you're not the only one. Most companies assume that any time anyone provides them with an email address [to purchase an item or just to ask a question] it means that the person is consenting to any and all mailing lists they control. That sir, is a dick move. Anyways, at 9:40pm I then received a message from Walmart telling me that my grocery order from eight hours ago is now complete. Thanks Walmart, I'm glad you were able to confirm I picked up my groceries this afternoon. It's good to see the largest physical retailer in the world has their shit together on that one.

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