The Cabela's Story 2020-04-01
Recently I was thinking that I'd like to have another hack at some deer hunting nearby this fall. I knew I'd need some crossbow bolts, but I figured that as long as I was going to Cabela's I should see if there is anything else I need. Now I do a little hand loading and it turns out I needed a small bottle of powder and some bullets. Should be simple right? I mean this is common stuff they carry all the time. Well...
Their web site said that the powder and bullets were both "backorderable", while the bolts were in stock. I called their customer service line to ask if there was a way to order all three and have them contact me when all three were at the local store. After 45 minutes of the most gruelling and painful hold music I have ever heard a lady answered and asked how she could help. Turns out she could see my account but could not open an order on it, change it in any way, or even create a new account. I have a feeling that my previous bitching about how opt-in newsletters work got my account locked so I'd never hear from them again. So I asked if there is simply a way to get the three items I need sent to the local store. Turns out customer service can't actually have inventory sent anywhere. She was however able to tell me that there were three bottles of the "backorderable" powder one box of "backorderable" bullets, and "lots" of the bolts at the local store. Well, that was easy eh?
So I called the local store where I spoke to four different people to confirm that the shit was actually there. The guy at the archery desk said there were three packs of the bolts with white fletchings (which I said I didn't want) and one box of bolts with the green fletchings (which I said I did want). The fellah at the gun counter confirmed that there were in fact one box of the bullets I wanted and three bottles of the powder I wanted. So I hopped in the car and raced over before they closed for the day. Luckily the city is mostly locked down and there was minimal trafffic. Upon arriving at the store I saw a sign on the front door saying to use the accessible entrance on the north side of the building... so I went to the north side of the building, but there was clearly no public entrance there. Turns out "north side" simply means "other door". Sigh... upon entering a lady told me I had to wash my hands. I was a little worried that she may have seen me scratching my nuts or picking my ass as I walked across the parking lot but assumed it was because of Wu Flu. After washing my hands I was back on track and ready to find my stuff.
Turns out the bolts with the green fletchings were not even the same length as what I had asked for. I mean did give the "Cabela's Article Number" to the guy on the phone, so I kind of thought that would lead him to the right product. I took one of the packs of bolts with the white fletchings and I just hope they weigh the same. Then when I asked at the counter for powder I was told that I'd have to speak to "the other guy" because only he has a key to the powder cabinet. Turns out "the other guy" was busy talking to someone who may have been a customer or may have actually just been a friend. In any case, he didn't look interested in helping me... so when he started to tell me he would get "the first guy" to help me I tried to explain that I want powder and only he has the key. That prompted him to tell "the first guy" that he already gave him a key to that cabinet. Guys, I just want the powder, could we please get this rolling? Finally "the first guy" returned from behind the wall of secrecy to tell me that they don't have any.
Eventually after explaining that both customer service and someone at the local store [HIM I believe] told me that there is powder there he went back in and said "Oh, I was looking in the wrong place." and gave me a bottle of powder. Quickly hunting down the bullets I was looking for I noticed that the labelling has changed on the packging and I really hope they are not different from the ones I bought last year. I mean, they are named the exact same thing as last year... they wouldn't be selling something different under last year's name would they? Screw it, I just wanted out at this point like a GitMo prisoner being waterboarded, so I didn't bother to mention that "the first guy" gave me a bottle of gunpowder without asking to see my PAL. I just left.
On a happy note, I found some chocolate covered raisins in the woods today. I assume that this social distancing and lockdown stuff has people bored and wandering around aimlessly, and someone must have spilled their chocolate covered raisins. Anyways, Merrygold liked them but I thought they tasted awful.