Fuck You Mermaid Pools And Hot Tubs 2010-08-07

So a few years ago I bought a Coast Spas hot tub at Mermaid Pools And Spas on Merivale Road, a Helios to be exact. My warranty can be found HERE [gpg sig] [gpg key 339CC7FC] in PDF format. The part that applies to me is where it says:

Screenshot of Coast Spa warranty.

FIVE YEAR NO LEAK WARRANTY - Coast Spas Manufacturing Inc. warrants factory-installed plumbing against water loss due to defects in materials and workmanship for a period of five years from the spa's original date of purchase. This warranty specifically covers leaks from the jet fittings, drain fittings, internal plumbing, filter canister and light lens.

Why does this apply to me? Because it leaked. It leaked in my fucking basement. Here's where it gets shitty...

I call up Mermaid's repair department and tell them that my tub is leaking. I am told that the "Volcano Jet" (the big one in the foot well) is not covered by the warranty. Funny, I didn't see any mention of that in my warranty card (see above). So I am told that if I replace the volcano jet [at my cost] and it still leaks, then they'll send a guy out to look at it. I do replace it and it still leaks, so I call them back.

Now that I am calling to schedule someone to come to the house I am told that it will cost me $100 for the first visit and $85 for the second visit. They seemed VERY confident that a second visit would be required even though they had done no troubleshooting at this time. I asked why I would have to pay if this was under warranty and was told that it was because I live far away (40km according to Google Maps). They have me by the short hairs so I tell them to send somebody. They schedule an appointment and tell me that I can call after 8:30AM on that day to find out what time they would arrive. I make the call and am told that they'll be here around 2:00PM or 3:00PM. The time comes and goes, when I call them back to see what the fuck is wrong I am told that I didn't answer my phone at some point so they didn't come (even though I was home all day).

So I setup a second appointment and the guy comes over this time. He looks at the tub and starts pulling out the insulation from the sides of it. He tells me that there is a plastic pipe that is leaking and that he doesn't have a replacement in his truck. How exactly the fuck does a "Hot Tub Repairman" not have fucking plastic pipe in his truck? He promptly charges me $100 and tells me that they'll probably contact me to make another appointment. They do call me to make a subsequent appointment and tell me that not only is it $85 but it will also cost $25 for every 15 minutes after the first hour.

The second guy shows up and says "It's not even fucking glued"... that's right, Coast Spas maker of the self proclaimed WORLD'S BEST BUILT SPAS (it says so right on the panel of my spa) didn't glue a connection before they sent the fucking thing to me. Nice job. And waitafucking minute... why did the first guy tell me I needed parts? Why did he tell me I would need to have a return visit? Was it just so they could rape me for another $85? I think so. In the end, the second guy was in my house for 11 minutes (as timed by a digital stopwatch). He walked out of the house and said he would let the office deal with billing and I signed NOTHING.

I was pretty pissed about this shabby manufacturing job, shitty repair, and bullshit service... so I called Coast Spas who told me that there is no charge for parts or labour on warranty work but that the repair assholes may charge a travel cost (which is not governed by Coast Spas). Funny, I have two problems with that:

1. How is "$25 per 15 minutes after the first hour" a TRAVEL charge?
2. How is $100 per hour (the effective rate) a reasonable travel cost?

Seriously, kiss me right here.

Coast Spas indicated to me that it was my problem to deal with the cunts at Mermaid and that they had no problems with the way Mermaid was treating customers. I assume they feel confident in this position because most people do not buy more than one spa in their lifetime, and as a result, good service is not required.

A few days ago I look at my credit card and they have billed me over $200 when I only authorized the first bill of approximately $112. I called to ask about it and was told by whoever the fuck was on the phone that he would talk to the two repair guys and get back to me. Funny, he never called me back. Cocksucker.

So if you ever find yourself in the market for a spa, hot tub, pool, supplies, or anything at all... I would strongly suggest avoiding the douchebags at Mermaid. I would also suggest that regardless of spa retailer you should ask some annoying and specific questions about warranty. Throughout my spa purchase and ownership I found it odd that manufacturers, dealers, and sales whores seemed to make it sound like repair is quite common... far more common than I would have expected before I started looking to buy one. Now I know why, they are built like cheapass Barbie dollhouses and the warranty certainly doesn't mean "cost free" in any way.

Blow me Mermaid, fucking blow me.